The Dead are Annoying
by Vanguard523
Summary: After a day of slaughtering hellspawn, the group just wants to relax but a certain Necromancer has other plans...


Despite what everyone thought, Exler the Necromancer was quite the joker even though he raised the dead from their graves and summoned ungodly creatures.

The party of six, excluding their assassin compatriot who preferred to be alone, were seated around a campfire they had built in the middle of the dark woods as Haldo the Barbarian gathered some more firewood, Miranda the Amazon sharpened her javelin, Finn the Druid patrolled the perimeter with his dire wolves and spirit of thorns in tow while Battara the sorceress practiced her magic with her eyes closed.

When Haldo returned to the campsite with an armful of small logs, he tossed down his hatchet he used to gather the supplies and Exler smirked to himself. He waited until the large man picked up the hatchet once more and using his otherworldly abilities, transformed it into an iron golem while the object was still being held.

As the metal quickly formed into a humanoid creature and became very heavy very fast, Haldo dropped it and shot a glare at the now grinning Necromancer.

"One of these days Exler, I **will** remove your head from your body with my bare hands."

"Relax big guy, he's just having some fun." Miranda chimed in, continuing to sharpen her weapon.

"Yeah? Well was it 'fun' when he ordered his blood golem to creep up behind you while we were demon hunting?" The Amazon frowned at the memory and shuddered, remembering the bloody and horribly disfigured face of the Necromancer's minion.

"No, I guess not." She mumbled as Finn came back from his patrol and sat cross-legged in front of the fire.

"No demons nearby. Either they fear fire or us." He declared, petting one of the wolves that lied down next to him.

"Most likely us. The creatures we face often use fire as a force of their own." Battara replied.

Haldo scoffed as he sat next to the druid and pet another one of his wolves. "If I were them, I'd be too annoyed to deal with Exler's terrible excuses of pranks."

They five of them sat in silence for a while until Finn excused himself from the group and walked behind a tree. With a smirk, Exler ordered one of his skeletons to follow the druid and it complied.

As Haldo watched the bone warrior follow in Finn's footsteps, his brow furrowed. "Exler…" He started sternly.

"Just wait." He replied with thinly veiled giddiness.

A second later, a shout rang out followed by a thundering roar and a clatter of bones as Finn had shapeshifted into Werebear form and was now charging toward Exler. Ordering his iron golem to shield him, Finn stopped and swatted the metal construct away like a fly as he towered over the Necromancer and roared again.

Haldo placed himself between the two and outstretched his hands as if they would actually do any good against the raging druid. "Finn! Take a minute and relax!" He ordered. Reluctantly, the Werebear then shifted back into human form and Finn bore a raged frown on his face as he stared at the Necromancer who was now holding his sides in laughter.

"What happened?" Miranda asked.

"That skeleton attempted to cut off my genitals!" He shouted. "I just barely heard it at the last second and I got spooked, turned, and smashed the being into oblivion!"

Haldo frowned and turned to Exler who had regained his composure with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. "Too far." He declared with a shake of his head.

Exler merely shrugged and continued to sit as Finn's rage subsided and they returned to their positions around the fire.

"Where's Jacqueline?" Exler asked, referring to their lone assassin.

"Probably shredding more demons with her blades." Miranda replied with a shrug.

Then without saying anything, Battara stood and pushed Exler backwards, making him fall to the ground as waves of electricity shot through his body. Confused, they all looked up to see Jacqueline approach from the darkness of the trees with a wide grin as Exler writhed on the ground.

"That was… you…" Finn struggled to form a sentence as he started to laugh.

The assassin nodded. "An electric trap. It'll hurt, but it won't kill him." She replied.

"So once he's conscious do you think he'll keep pranking us?" Miranda asked.

Jacqueline shrugged. "If he does, I'll just shock him again."

The five then shared a laugh as Exler lay on the black ground and groaned in pain, reaching for a potion at his belt.


End file.
